While growing up, I always used to relate the month of April with Spring, flowers, Easter, bright colors, etc.  Recently, I have realized that the ugliest month for my heritage is April.

On April 24th 1915, one and and a half million Armenians massacred by the Ottomans.

On April 13th 1975, the Lebanese Civil War begun.

On April 18th 1983, US Embassy bombing in Beirut. 63 killed, 120 injured.

On April 18th 1996, the Qana Massacre. Over 100 killed and over 300 injured by Israelis (women, children, and elderly included)

On April 18th 2005, Basil Fuleihan passes away. (He was in the car with Rafik Hariri on February 14th)
These are “events” that I can think of now that took place in April.  I usually post gruesome pictures in memory of the events. But this year I decided not to.  I just hope our generation have learnt the mistakes of our “ancestors”

* I was feeling down today.  I don’t know if it’s because of all the bad news I have been hearing around me, or is it my nerves, or the weather, or whatever!

* I was driving to Shuwaikh today for a meeting when I started wondering, maybe I really am not happy, maybe I am just comfortable… a little too comfortable one might say.

* Also, I have realized how cold I have gotten recently… someone would tell me some bad news about themselves or someone they know, I just shrug and basically say oh well! Well, it’s maybe not that I am cold but maybe by disconnecting myself from others I make things easier on myself.  I can’t even act like I sympathize either. I really just nod and go one with whatever business I have.

* Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode.  I got so much stuff in there that I sometimes feel like there’s a wheel in my head that just keeps turning and turning.  I sometimes feel my head is so tired that it wont allow me to concentrate on anything! I can’t even look at something … wait let me explain… my eyes can’t stop wandering around… I sometimes can’t talk to a person and keep looking at them… my eyes wanders around the entire room gathering as much  information as possible, no matter how pathetic.  Sometimes someone would be talking to me and I can see their lips move, I see their hand gestures but can’t make sense of what it is they are saying since I can’t concentrate on the entire sentence!

Last night, I watched an interesting movie called Capote. The movie basically is about the research Truman Capote conducted for his book In Cold Blood. The book was based on 2 men that killed an entire family in a quiet area in Kansas. Capote went to Kansas to write about the topic and met the two murderers during which he got close to one of them, Perry Smith.

The movie might be considered as a slow movie to some people but in general, I can see this movie being taught in film classes (I surely can imagine my film teacher, Dr. Cozyris) dissecting this movie for us.

If you want to watch a movie full of action, or a romance movie, then this isn’t the movie you should watch. This movie in my opinion is based on pure psychology. I believe the movie is a struggle between Capote and himself. You can realize that Capote is growing attached to Perry Smith but at certain times during the movie you simply can’t understand what he is going through or feeling. What you do sense is Capote’s feelings of guilt, or even Capote relating to Perry Smith… so maybe feelings of it could have been him if he has chosen a different path.

Yet, the movie also leaves us with wanting more. Wanting for answers to some questions that were remained unanswered.

One of my favorite blogs: Welcome To My Lebanese Dream.  I always look forward to Fouad’s next post and his pictures are just marvellous.  Each picture simply tells a story by itself.

Today is a big day for me. It is a really busy day but it also determine a few things for myself. If today ends up the way I want, tomorrow could be an even bigger day. I am things in the pipe being worked on right now and I can’t discuss them here. If they do work out then a dream I once had, and only ever considered a dream, might come true.

This big day has been postponed until Tuesday…

Since I work in an advertising agency, I receive all types of magazines and newspapers on a daily basis. Any magazine you can think off we have. I was just browsing a tabloid paper thats distributed weekly (i think), it’s called People and is in Arabic. They have this one article on how in one of the streets of Damascus, at a traffic light, 3 cars were tuned into a radio station that was playing Hayfa Wehbe’s latest song “boos il wawa” and apparently one person got of his car to dance and sing the song and people from other cars just followed. This caused a huge traffic jam since the light turned green a couple of times and these people were still dancing! Meanwhile, I cop was standing nearby and just smiled and watching letting these people enjoy their fun of the day!!

What’s with this wawa song? I know a lot of people hooked on to it but it’s wawa!!!

… Ooops I forgot! Why didn’t anyone remind me?